What is bullying?

Bullying is the repeated and intentional use of physical, verbal, electronic, written or

psychological acts or omissions, or any combination thereof, by one or more students

against  another  student  with  the  intention  of  causing  hurt,  harm,  fear,  distress  or 

adversely affecting the rights or needs of that students.

 

How to deal with bullies?

1) Just walk away from the bully: When you walk away, you are taking away the bully’s power!

2) Be confident: Bullies usually pick on people that they think are weaker than they are. So stand up to them. You might be scared but if you keep standing up to them, they will stop.

3) Use the buddy system against bullies: Bullies feel empowered to bully one person, but rarely will they bully a group. Hang out with your friends.

4) Get help: If you are being bullied and are in danger, you must speak with a trusted adult immediately.

 

Relationships in campus

University is a time in your life when you will meet many new people. Some of these encounters will grow into friendships and others may develop into romantic relationships.

Many people, though, decide that university is such a busy and new time, that they don't want to add another thing like a relationship to worry about. This may give them extra time to hang out with friends, study or do other activities such as sport. This is completely ok and normal!

If you do decide you would like to be in a relationship, there are some things to think about first. Am I actually ready for a relationship? What sort of things are important to me in a relationship? Do I value having similar interests, someone I can be honest with and trust, being physically attracted to each other, mutual respect, someone I can just hang out with?

Eight Basic Steps to Maintaining a Good Relationship

1. Be aware of what you and your partner want for yourselves and what you want from the relationship.
2. Let one another know what your needs are.
3. Realize that your partner will not be able to meet all your needs. Some of these needs will have to be met outside of the relationship.
4. Be willing to negotiate and compromise on the things you want from one another.
5. Do not demand that a partner change to meet all your expectations. Work to accept the differences between your ideal mate and the real person you are dating.
6. Try to see things from the other's point of view. This doesn't mean that you must agree with one another all the time, but rather that both of you can understand and respect each other's differences, points of view, and separate needs.

 

What is Sleep Deprivation?
Sleep deprivation occurs when a person fails to get enough sleep at night. How much sleep a person needs varies among individuals, but a fair benchmark puts it between 7-9 hours per night for adults.

Tips to improve sleeping:

1) Establish a routine: Try to establish a regular sleeping pattern by going to bed and waking up at roughly the same time every day. Go to bed only when you feel tired enough to sleep. Then get up at your usual time. This may mean you will spend less time actually in bed, but more of the time in bed asleep.

2) Relax before you go to bed

You may find a relaxation routine can help you prepare for sleep. There are several things you can try:

• Do something calming – such as listening to relaxing music, or having a bath.
• Breathing exercises – in a comfortable position, try this: breathe into your belly (not your chest) then out through your nose, making your out-breath longer than your in-breath; repeat until you feel relaxed.
• Muscle relaxation – consciously tense and relax your muscles, one after the other, starting with your toes and working up your body until you reach the top of your head.
• Visualisation – picture a scene or landscape that has pleasant memories for you.
• Meditation – you can learn meditation techniques at a class or from self-help guides; many people also find mindfulness helpful.

  Self-help leaflets (pdf file)

What is suicide ideation?

Suicide ideation refers to thoughts that life isn’t worth living, ranging in intensity from fleeting thoughts through to concrete, well thought-out plan for killing oneself. The majority of people who experience suicidal ideation do not carry it through. Some may, however, make suicide attempts.

Having thoughts of suicide can be very scary and overwhelming – you may feel that you cannot cope or that you are losing control. You may feel that you cannot stand another minute of feeling so bad and that you want to escape from it all. If you are having thoughts about suicide, you are not alone. Many people have thoughts of suicide, for lots of different reasons. However most of these people do have one thing in common – they have thoughts of suicide because they are looking for a way to escape the pain that they are feeling.

For immediate help

If you are thinking about harming yourself and not sure you can stay safe, please get help now:

1. Call our 24/7 hotline +6015-48770405

2. Go to the nearest hospital emergency room

3. Go to your local health care provider or counselling service at Student LIFE (during business hours) or campus security

If you are having thoughts of suicide, but you aren’t immediately thinking of hurting yourself and don’t have a plan, consider doing the following:-

• Reach out to someone you feel you can trust (a friend or family member).
• Make an appointment with a Counsellor at Student LIFE or with a health care provider
• Call a crisis hotline to talk with someone who has experience with these issues and can offer you support and connect you to resources, Befrienders KL +603-7956 8145 or 24/7 hotline +6015-48770405
• Avoid high risk situations
• Remind yourself of your goals
• Keep to a routine

Suicide Ideation Self-help leaflet (pdf file)

What is self-harm?

Self-harm is where someone does something to deliberately hurt themselves when they find things difficult to cope with. Unlike suicide attempts, self-harming behaviours are not driven by a desire to end one’s life. However, some self-injurious behaviours may be life-threatening. It can include things like self-cutting, head banging,drinking dangerous substances, etc.

Coping tips

Replacing self-harm with other, safer, coping strategies can be a positive way of dealing with difficult feelings. Different things work for different people, so you may need to try a few approaches to see what works for you. Helpful strategies when you want to self- harm can include:
 • Hitting pillows, cushions or bean bags and having a good scream
 • Going for a walk or run, or other kinds of exercise
 • Snapping an elastic band on your wrist
 • Crying can be helpful
 • Try to be around people until the urge or feeling passes
 • Talking to someone you trust
 • Looking at supportive websites/message a helpline
 • Holding an ice cube against your skin instead of cutting
 • Wrap your usual tool in a whole roll of sticky tape so that it’s difficult to access

Self-harm self-help leaflet (pdf file)

What is healthy friendship?

A healthy relationship can be characterized by positive features such as intimacy, loyalty, companionship, encouragement, acceptance, and low levels of conflict and rivalry.

Dealing with friendship problems

1. Let your friend know ahead of time that you will like to have a conversation with him/her to address certain issue.

2. Choose a suitable/neutral place to have the conversation and a time where both of you are not distracted with other activities.

3. Be prepared to compromise as a healthy friendship requires both parties to adjust to one another’s needs or wants.

4. Be assertive to communicate.

5. Be willing to listen to what your friend.

What is Gratitude?

Gratitude is a human emotion that can be most simply defined as appreciation or acknowledgment of an altruistic act.

How to practice gratitude?

1. Write a gratitude journal

2. Make a gratitude jar

3. Go for a gratitude walk

4. Share your gratitude on social media

What is loneliness?

Loneliness is a painful awareness that you don’t feel connected to others, which isn’t necessarily the same as being alone. Change is commonly linked to loneliness, especially if it’s out of the person’s control. This can include moving to a new city, going through a breakup or losing a loved one. Pre-existing mental health conditions like depression, anxiety or low self-esteem, are also often linked to loneliness.

How to fight loneliness?

Feelings of loneliness don’t have to be constant to call for action, but you will need to give yourself a push to get back into the thick of life and re-engage with others to start feeling better. These strategies for fighting loneliness can help:

1) Make a plan: making a point to meet people who have similar interests such as volunteering and exploring a hobby are both great ways to fight loneliness.

2) Have realistic standard: Sometimes loneliness is a mismatch between your ideal and what you actually have. Take some time to reflect on whether you have any unrealistic standards that are making it hard to connect with others and stop feeling lonely, such as expecting too much from a new friendship too quickly or relying on another person too much.

3) Talk to a trusted friend or relative. Get some feedback and ideas, as well as a sympathetic ear, from a family member or friend with whom you trust your thoughts and feelings.

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is about developing the skill for being more present, rather than living in the past or the future. It is about learning how to change the habits of inattention and distraction, and how to stay in the present moment. This is really useful for study. Mindfulness means paying attention with flexibility, openness and curiosity.

Guidelines for practice

Although mindfulness has effective benefits for many conditions that are well researched, there are some mental health diagnoses that may not respond well or could be unsuitable to practice mindfulness alone. It is important that you seek professional advice, such as Counselling Services  for further support and advice.

The following are some skills required for mindfulness practice:

• Participation. Mindfulness requires practice to unhook from worrying thoughts or thoughts of perfection. There is no mastery of mindfulness and it is in doing it for 30 seconds, a minute or more that is the key.

• Non-judgementally. Stay with what is actually there, not the 'shoulds' or 'musts', the 'good' or the 'right'. Take your thoughts, emotions and sensations for what they are. Accept them as they come. The habit of judging is hard to break. Try not to be hard on yourself if you notice you judge a lot. It will take time to look at your thoughts, emotions and images differently.

• One-focus Only. Focus on one activity and keep on track with this only, e.g., by focussing on your breath, you use the breath as an anchor, and when your mind wanders you unhook from the distractions and return to the breath.

What is procrastination?

Procrastination is the avoidance or delaying of a task which you need to do. It can lead to serious consequences for a student especially when his/her academic performance is potentially affected. Procrastination involves intentional decision to put off a task for no valid reason, and instead, doing something else of lesser importance despite there being negative consequences.

Beat procrastination:

1. Dismiss procrastination excuses: Deal with excuses that you give when you procrastinate so that you NO longer feel OK to procrastinate. Ask yourself: “If I do/don’t make some start to the task right now, what might happen?”

2. Changing unhelpful self-talks: You may tell yourself unkind things that may keep you procrastinating. Come up with a more helpful alternative thought.  

3. Break down tasks: Include smaller and simpler tasks in the to-do list as smaller tasks are more readily achievable and may motivate you to complete the remaining items. 

4. Reward yourself: Reward yourself after getting a job done. When you reward yourself for your achievements, the less likely you feel like you are missing out when doing a task.

5. Reminders: Placing visual reminders at prominent places may prompt you to get started (e.g. sticky notes on the fridge, phone reminders).

Self-help leaflet: Procrastination (pdf file)

What is self-compassion?

Compassion  is  the  ability  to  show  empathy,  love,  and  concern  to people who are in difficulty, and self-compassion is simply the ability

to direct these same emotions within, and accept oneself, particularly in the face of failure. Many otherwise compassionate people have a

harder time showing compassion for themselves, sometimes out of a fear  of  engaging  in  self-indulgence  or  self-pity,  but  an  inability  to 

accept areas of weakness may lead to difficulty achieving emotional well-being.

 

Kristin Neff, a self-compassion researcher and the first to define the term academically, describes self-compassion as having 3 elements.

1. Self-kindness, or refraining from harsh criticism of the self.

2. Recognizing one's own humanity, or the fact that all people are imperfect and all people experience pain.

3. Mindfulness, or maintaining a non-biased awareness of experiences, even those that are painful, rather than either ignoring or exaggerating their

    effect.

 

Tips to practicing self-compassion:

1) Acknowledge your pain. Notice when you’re hurting and allow yourself to mourn the fact that you are not perfect. Resist the temptation to pretend like nothing’s wrong or that your feelings don’t matter.

2) Adopt a new perspective. View the world through the lens of a best friend or caring individual. When you’re tempted to be self-critical or judgmental, try to speak to yourself as someone who cares about you would; consider what they might say to encourage you.

3) Practice. Being self-compassionate is not an innate quality, and it’s often learned in our family of origin. Depending on our childhood circumstances, this may or may not have been a skill that we learned from our parents. As adults, we can chose to practice this skill until one day it feels like second nature.

Self-help leaflet: Self-compassion (pdf file)

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is your opinion of yourself. The term self-esteem is used to describe the emotional and cognitive evaluation of our own worth. Self-esteem affects how we value ourselves reflects the way we think, feel and act. Self-esteem doesn’t have much connection with actual talent or ability. Someone who is talented in a particular area may still have poor self-esteem, while someone who is struggling terribly can have good self-esteem. Self-esteem seems to work as a state of mind.

How to build self-esteem?

1) Talk to yourself positively: treat yourself as you would your best friend. Be supportive, kind and understanding. Don’t be hard on yourself when you make a mistake.

2) Start practicing self-compassion: self compassion is not based on self-evaluation or judgement; rather, it is based on a steady attitude of kindness and acceptance toward yourself.

3) Challenge negative ‘self-talk’: every time you criticise yourself, stop and look for objective evidence that the criticism is true. If you feel you can’t be objective, then ask a trusted friend for their opinion. You’ll realise that most of your negative self-talk is unfounded.

4) Don’t compare yourself to others: recognise that everyone is different and that every human life has value in its own right. Make an effort to accept yourself, warts and all.

Self-help leaflet:  Self-esteem (pdf file)
                                                                 

To register for a counselling session:

Sign up: Login to iZone, Services -> eForms -> Counselling eForm

Tel: 03-74918622 ext 3022/3023

Email: counselling@sunway.edu.my

Facebook:  Sunway Education Counselling & Wellness

Instagram: sunway_counselling

Venue: Student LIFE (Ground floor, Sunway College, North Building)

Office hours: Monday-Friday 8:30a.m. until 5:30p.m. ( except Public Holidays) 

 

 

Email: sunwaypcv@imail.sunway.edu.my

Write to P2P: http://bit.ly/sunwaypeer2peer

Facebook: Sunway Peer Counselling Volunteers

Instagram: sunway_pcv

Venue: Peer Support Room (Ground floor, Sunway College, North Building)

Office hours/ Let’s chat session:  Please refer to PCVs' Facebook/Instagram for updated schedule

1) Mentem Psychological Services

Tel: 03-80251009

Email: mentempsy@gmail.com  

Website: mentem-psy.com

Address: 5-2 (First floor), Jalan USJ21/1, 47630 Subang Jaya, Selangor

 

2) Agape Counselling Centre Malaysia

Admin Tel: 03-77854833           

Counselling Line: 03-7781 0800/ 03-7785 5955         

WhatsApp: 012-2421756

Email: admin@agape.org.my

Website: www.agape.org.my

Address: 56B, Jalan PJS 1/46, Taman Petaling Utama, 46150, Petaling Jaya, Selangor, 46150 Petaling Jaya, Selangor

 

3) SOLS 24/7

Tel: 03-90549247   

Email: malaysia@sols247.org    

Website: www.sols247.org/solshealth/

Address: 1, Petaling Commerz & Residential Condos, #G-8 Jalan 1 C/149, Off Jalan Sungai Besi 57100 Sungai Besi, KL

 

4) Befrienders

24/7 Hotline: 03-79568144 or 03-79568145

Email: sam@befrienders.org.my   

Website: http://www.befrienders.org.my/

Address: 95 Jalan Templer, 46000, Petaling Jaya.

 

5) Sunway Medical Centre

Dr Phang Cheng Kar (Psychiatrist)

Tel: 03-74916505

Website: sunwaymedical.com

 

6) The Mind Psychological Services and Training

Tel: +603 7931 8436

Website: www.themind.com.my

Address: C-41-1, Jaya One Jalan Universiti 46200 Petaling Jaya Selangor, Malaysia.

 

7) The Mind Faculty

Tel: (603) 6203 0359 / (603) 6203 0733

Email: enquiries@themindfaculty.com

Website: http://www.themindfaculty.com/

Address: Suite 11-G & 11-1, Jalan Solaris 4, Solaris Mont Kiara, Jalan Solaris Off Jalan Duta Kiara , 50480 KL

 

8) InPsych Psychological and Counselling Services

Address: 41-3, Jalan 1/137B, Resource Industrial Centre, Off Old Klang Road, 58200 Kuala Lumpur.

Tel: 017-3311216

Email: inquiry@inpsych.com.my

Website: www.inpsych.com.my

Facebook: www.facebook.com/theinpsych

For many students, arriving in a new campus can be both exciting and creating anxiety. Most students will experience a challenging period of adjustment after moving to a new culture or place. You may find the language, weather, geography, food, and ways of relating to others strange or even inferior to what you’re used to.

Here are some tips:

• Get enough sleep, exercise, and eat well
• Stay active by visiting places around town, and attending campus events.
• Take a minute to appreciate your accomplishments.
• Make new friends.
• Avoid using alcohol and illicit drugs to self-medicate.
• Talk about what you are experiencing to someone you can share reactions and experiences—positive and negative.
• Be patient, this adjustment will take time and practice in order to feel comfortable.
• Seek out other students of your same cultural and ethnic background, they might be going through similar situations.

What is Anxiety?

Experiencing occasional anxiety is a normal part of life. Anxiety is characterized by excessive and unrealistic concerns about the future, emotional and physical tension, and patterns of avoidance–avoiding people, responsibilities, or harmless situations.

 

Tips to deal with anxiety:

1. Write down your thoughts for later instead of repeating them in your mind.

2. Use a realistic plan of action to tackle the problems.

3. Learning to tolerate uncertainty is an important part of managing anxiety.

4. Do diaphragmatic breathing.

5. Have a support network around you - spending time with friends or family

Self-help leaflet: Anxiety (pdf file)

 

What is depression?

A wide range of emotional experience and expression is normal. It is natural to respond to life experiences (either satisfying and fulfilling or distressing and painful) with emotion. At some point, everyone experiences problems which result in feelings of irritability, sadness or self-blame. Such responses are usually short-lived. However, clinical depression occurs when these feelings, along with a set of additional symptoms such as become intense, persist for more than 2 weeks and interfere with academic, social, family or daily functioning.

Overcoming depression

1. Choose supportive relationship and stick with people who care about, understand and support you.
2. Seek and accept support to improve your mood.
3. Work to better recognize, accept and express your feelings.
4. Strengthen your coping, problem solving and decision-making skills.
5. Learn to recognize and challenge depressive thinking.
6. Take care of your physical health

Grief is very common. We feel it when someone dies, but also when we move away from people close to us (or they move away from us), and after other losses. People react to loss in different ways, and it can take some people longer than others to get over it.

Coping tips

You may need to try a few things to see what works for you.

• Cry
• Talk about it
• Spend time with friends or family
• Seek support
• Get some exercise
• Keep active, do things to distract yourself
• Seek support from others
• Seek counselling or professional help
• Eat healthy, regular meals & get enough sleep
• Avoid drugs, alcohol and cigarettes

How to look after your mental health?

There are a number of things you can do to look after and maintain your mental health and wellbeing. For example, many people cope with stress by getting involved with sports, exercising, meditating, or practising yoga or relaxation techniques. Others express themselves through art, such as poetry, writing or music. What you eat might also affect your mood – a well-balanced diet will help keep you both physically and mentally healthy.

What is Stress?

Stress is your body’s response to changes that create taxing demands. Stress is not always a bad thing. In life, we experience eustress (positive stress) and distress (negative stress).  When you perceive a situation, event, or problem that exceeds your resources or abilities, that is when you experience distress.

 

How to cope with stress?

1.Build a healthy relationship

2.Practice deep breathing

3.Identify your stressor, solutions, and resources

4.Keep a journal

5.Practise a healthy lifestyle